I heard an old song today that took me back to the past. It’s crazy how some moments feel so monumental but in reality they are only a grain of sand on the beach where we live. I remember the pain, the heartache, first loves lost, and the rath of raw emotions felt for the first time. Yes, I lived it. Yes, I survived it. I moved on and they’ve married. At first it stung, but now I look back and I wonder how on earth I was so entangled in her. I don’t even find her remotely attractive. He was my first kiss my good friend and now we’re complete opposites. We catch up every now and then it’s cool to keep in touch despite our unusual history, but I learned a lot about myself. Hearing that song reminded me of how weak I thought I was but wow I have come a long way! I found an amazing woman who would give her right arm for me, I have a son whom I adore, and I have a job that I enjoy going to.
Time really does fly when you have a baby! Little Man is almost 2 years old and I’m already drowning in baby fever. I love being a mom more than anything. My life revolves around my little guy, my wife, and work. There’s all these things I wanna do but I don’t even have time for the basic things. During the week I basically have three hours left in my day to feed my son, eat dinner, relax and get ready for the next day. My wife is ready for baby #2 but I know we can’t afford daycare for two much alone private school. I’m hoping my son can get into a charter school near my work but there’s still two years until that happens. On the weekends it seems like we always have company in town or a birthday party to go to. We typically try to take Little Man somewhere fun and new. Last weekend it was a kiddie park and he loved it. He also loves dancing and watching Caliou. I feel so lucky to be this little mans’ Mom
I can’t believe its been 11 months since Jake has entered our lives. Our world has completely changed. Im like a walking zombie somedays but I wouldnt have it any other way. Jake is now talking saying words like momma, elmo, bye, and today he said poo poo. He has the cuttest dimples and always does stuff to make us laugh. Heres a photo.
Jake’s first Christmas was a bit interesting. The week before he had starting contorting his body to his left side. He started doing it frequently and uncontrollably. I became very concerned and figured he had an ear infection so I scheduled a doctor appointment. Luckily our doctor offers Saturday visits so we were in luck. THe doctor looked him over and stated his ear were fine and that his acid reflux most be the reason he’s contorting his body so she recommend we put him back on his medication (we were asked to ween him off at his last appt.). We did and to no avail the weird episodes kept happening we called the doctor and were told to up his dosage since he had gained weight since his initial diagnosis. By Monday afternoon, I had gone to pick him up from daycare and noticed he developed a nasty cough. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a commercial for whooping cough but Jake’s cough sounded much worse. Since Jake had had a cold before I wasn’t too concerned. My family came into town for Christmas Eve and asked about Jake’s cough. Everyone seemed very concerned but I was trying to keep my cool and not over react. On Christmas Jake got worse and was coughing so much. He was having trouble catching his breath. We tried to suction out his nose to no avail and by midnight we called our doctor’s office emergency hotline. We let the nurse listen to Jake over the phone and she said to take him to the ER. In a panic we collected everything we needed to keep him comfortable and prepare for hours at the hospital. 10 minutes into our drive Jake was sleeping like an angel, no coughing, no wheezing, so we turned the car around and went back home. By 4am Jake was crying and coughing again, we took off his clothes and watched his chest and his body struggled to breathe. His face would turn red and you could see his ribs with every breath he struggled for. Again, we packed our stuff and headed the ER and once again he fell asleep and was fine. This time, we had enough and wanted someone to do something to take his sickness away or whatever they could do. We waited for awhile to be seen and by the time the nurse came to check his vitals he was smiling and cooing. I was so annoyed because here we were knowing our son was sick yet it seemed like we were over reacting. They ended up running a long tube down his nose to take a sample to test him for the flu and RSV. The ended up sucking a large amount of mucous from deep inside and as a result he was so happy and comfortable the doctor probably thought we were crazy for taking him in. She could see that his breathing was labored and asked us to let him sleep for an hour so his stats could be monitored and they would give us the test results. Of course, at the hospital he was perfect. His results came back positive for RSV. He already had a doctor appt. the next day for his contorting issue so the ER doctor told us to go ahead and followup with his regular doctor. We went ahead and took Jake home where he sleep peacefully throughout the rest of the morning. My partner and I both called in sick since we hadn’t slept. Talk about an unusual first Christmas. At Jake’s doctor appt. he was prescribed a nebulizer. It has a mask for Jake to breath in concentrated humid air to loosen his mucous so we can suction it out of his nose. At first he hated it, but by the second treatment and sat there and let me keep the mask over his face like he loved it. It was so cute because I would freak out a little about how much mist was coming out and pull it away and he would grab my hand and pull it back to his face. He’s such a trooper!! Near the end he kept trying to lick the air so I knew we were done. Right now, he’s sleeping so comfortably, I’m hoping this goes away soon but his doctor said it will get worse before it gets better. I’m scared because nothing could be worse than watching your infant struggle to breath. Anyhow, that’s how our first Christmas went. It may have not been perfect, but I’m not complaining because we received the best Christmas gift of all…JAKE!
I love this little guy more than anything. Im more tired than Ive ever been in my life, but its worth it. My days are spent washing clothes, cleaning bottles, changing diapers, and changing his clothes after each accident. I do notice that he is smiling more and cooing alot. He loves his swing and sleeping in his bassinet. I wish I didnt have to work because leaving this guy is going to be hard.