Juiced up!

I’ve been Juiced! Okay maybe that doesn’t sound good, but my IUI just happened minutes ago. I almost missed my procedure due to an accident that closed the highway. I was already 30 minutes late and the receptionist was like if you not here in 10 minutes we will have to reschedule, I started crying and as soon as the traffic was clear I slammed on the gas and ran a red light. I prayed the whole way here, parked, ran to the building and luckily a nurse heard my heels  she held the elevator for me. Whatl an event! I really hope everything turns out well but I’m just happy to have a chance. God bless my poor one ovary working overtime to keep my hormones and eggs in check. And yes an IUI is a little painful but I’m sure that if you compare it to birth, its nothing worth freaking out about.

Here’s a picture of my current view.

Smiley Time

Well when I got home today, my sweetheart told me she heard a Thousand Years while she was at work. I remember seeing her call me but I was in a meeting so we couldn’t talk. After hearing her tell me about hearing the song, I got super excited and tested. So after all my ranting this morning at 5 am. Guess what…I got my awaited smile. I’ll be able to work tomorrow and leave in the afternoon for my IUI and then go volunteer on Friday. I feel so relieved and excited!! I’m so happy to finally get a 2WW. People complain about it, but I’m thankful to have it. I’m all smiles myself right now.

No smiley face

CD 16 and still no smiley face. I’m feeling the pressure. Thank God I ordered the 14 day tank. I’m going on day 7 that its been waiting for me. Because of Memorial day I was forced to order it earlier just in case I needed it for Tuesday. The first time I got pregnant I got my smiley on CD 16. Last month after my miscarriage I got a smiley face on CD 14. I just hope my results weren’t messed up today because I accidently dropped my cup in the toilet while peeing in it. Luckily my bladder had been full so I could start over but supposedly you should test with your first morning pee. What’s also nerve wacking is that my jerk of a boss put me on the spot to volunteer for a home tour this Friday. I’m suppose to be representing our company. I kept telling him it wasn’t a good time for me and then he calls me on speaker phone with the head person and ask when I can help. I responded let me get back with you and he was like you mean to tell me that your gonna be that busy Monday through Friday so I was like fine sign me up for Friday. (He kept trying to get me to volunteer over the weekends & I finally had to say I was going out of town.) Here’s Wednesday so if I have a smiley face on Thursday I sure as heck don’t want to be in the hot sun standing all day after being inseminated. I could go on about how my boss gets under my skin, but I’m too scared to change jobs and get pregnant. Most companies will not let you take time off if you haven’t been there over a year. Plus I don’t want the stress of learning anything new and dealing with morning sickness all at the same time. I feel like I’ve waited long enough to have a baby. I’m trying not to let myself get into a hissy over work. We’ll see what happens.

Believe it or not, it happened.

Today started off as normal, I woke up and wanted to fall back asleep. I finally started getting ready and hurried off to work 5 minutes later than usual. The day was busy as usual and I had brought a soup for lunch. For some odd reason I decided I would head out to the bank and go to Dairy Queen down the road for a salad. On my way to the bank I called my doctor’s office to make sure my tank arrived and they confirmed. Shortly after we hung up a nurse called me to let me know my tank arrived and I thought it was funny. I was too excited and didn’t even give them a chance to call me first. Anyhow, I got to Dairy Queen and ordered a salad and was eating when I noticed this older man walk in. I ate my salad as he sat down at a table that was three tables away. There was already a lady there and I thought maybe they knew each other but her to-go order was ready and she left. He sat there alone and I wondered is he homeless, is he hungry, is this man God’s way of testing what kind of person I am. Will I feed this poor man whom God might be disguised as. And as this very thought crossed my mind, the man looked right at me and said, “I see you”, my body froze and I felt like he was looking right through me. I replied, “hi”. He then replied, “you’re gonna have a baby” and I my heart dropped. I said, “Excuse me, what did you say” and then he said it again. I had this weird feeling come over me and I started getting teary eyed and tried not to freak out. I turned away and collected myself and when I looked back at him, he said, “Are you going to Riodoso? Now for the longest time my partner had been talking about us taking a trip to Riodoso and I had actually been researching trips there we could take before the baby came. So when he said that I was stunned and I don’t know what I said, but his response was, “you’re too pretty for Riodoso”. I have no idea what that meant but I was overwhelmed with emotion. I decided it was time to go and as I left I was going to pay for him to get a lunch but when I talked to the cashier she said someone had already ordered a lunch for him. I said goodbye and hurried to my car to call my partner and tell her what happened. I started crying because how ironic was it for this stranger to say that to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling he gave me when he looked into my eyes as I was thinking about God. As a lesbian brought up in the Catholic faith, I find it hard to find a spiritual home. So many people claim to be Christian but they’re so full of hate. Ive gone to different churches but I haven’t found any where I feel comfortable. Today made me feel like God is near. He is watching me. I will have a baby. I know this story might not sound real to you but I lived it. It happened.

It’s getting hot in here!

Wow, I thought this time would never come. I’m on cycle day 9 and tomorrow I can start testing myself for the big O. Our vial has been ordered and I’m hoping for the best. I took my last pill of clomid yesterday but I guess it was still in my system because I was having major hot flashes today. It was kinda akward sitting in our management meeting this morning and I blurted out is it hot and everyone was like no while I’m the only one in a sleeveless shirt. I felt like I was gonna pass out. Oh well, other than that no major side effects. I recently read that Julian Michaels and her partner adopted a baby and her partner gave birth to their son in the same week. That’s so awesome, not only that she’s one of the hottest lesbian ever, but that she’s a mom. My best friends since middle recently had a baby girl the day before mothers day. I’m happy for them. It seems like just yesterday they weren’t trying and I was telling them how I wanted to have a baby but had to get the okay from my doctor. Who knew this process would take so long. Its okay though, I’ve been using this time to make major purchases before we have to start paying for daycare. Our 5 year anniversary is coming up and I’m hoping we get the bestest anniversary present ever.